don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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