my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
