I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
