Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
