I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
