just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
