I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
