i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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