this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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