My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
