I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
