best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He felt like a one man threesome
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
