That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
