Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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