If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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