That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
