Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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