Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
