Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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