So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
