4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize