I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
