I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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