glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
