it's like iHOP with fire
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
