so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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