I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
