On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
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