I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
