This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
