Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
