john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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