You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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