You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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