she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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