Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
