Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
