butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just google imaged poop.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
