I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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