You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
