Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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