HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
