Your mouth is God's brothel.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i've created a new STD.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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