Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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