No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
