i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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