I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
