she looked like the before picture.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
