Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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