His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She bit a glass in half.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
