Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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