she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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