I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
