Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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