How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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