I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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