i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize